


Bonding Session

by triste



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: F/M, Humor, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-07
Updated: 2012-11-07
Packaged: 2017-11-18 04:35:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/556963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/triste/pseuds/triste
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s not a very common sight to see three heavily pregnant people together, especially when they have to keep taking it in turns to go to the toilet every ten minutes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bonding Session

**Author's Note:**

  * For [highboys](https://archiveofourown.org/users/highboys/gifts).



Title: Bonding Session  
Author: Triste  
Fandom: Kuroko no Basuke  
Pairings: Kise/Kuroko, Aomine/Momoi, Hyuuga/Riko  
Rating: PG-13  
Warnings: Mpreg  
Status: Complete  
Disclaimer: Not mine

~~

“It pisses me off,” says Aomine, irritability written all over his face, “how you’re the only person here who’s in a good mood.”

“Really?” Kise doesn’t even pretend to sound apologetic, and in contrast to Aomine, he’s grinning from ear to ear. “I thought I was just being normal.”

Hyuuga remains silent, and sighs into his glass of mineral water (no booze for him, unlike the other two, because Riko has forbidden it on the grounds that if she’s not allowed to drink anymore now that she’s carrying his child, then he shouldn’t either). 

Aomine flips open his cell phone to check the time, scowling when he sees that it’s only been thirty seconds since he last checked it. “This sucks. Why are we even here? I could be doing something better like, I dunno, sleeping. Or watching porn.”

“Eh?” Kise looks scandalised. “Why would you need dirty videos if you’ve got Sacchan?”

“Because, dumb ass,” Aomine replies scathingly, “we’re not all lucky enough to be married to people who get horny when they’re pregnant. Which, by the way,” he adds, before Kise can start gushing about how much sex he’s been having lately, “is TMI overkill, even for you, and I really don’t need to hear about what gets Tetsu hot, nor do I want to see your collection of kinky pictures.”

Pouting over having been pre-empted, Kise’s hand leaves his cell phone where it is, safely in the pocket of his super-stylish and scandalously expensive suit, instead of in Aomine’s face, displaying (most of them covertly taken) photographs of Tetsuya in various states of undress (the amount has been growing so exponentially over the months, Kise has been forced to purchase an SD card with a larger memory capacity in order to store them all).

“Sex?” Hyuuga sighs, again. “It’s been so long since I last had any, I’m starting to forget what it is.”

“Tell me about it,” Aomine complains. “Satsuki’s tits are the size of watermelons now, but I can’t touch them because she’s always bitching about them being too damn tender. I went shopping with her for maternity bras last week, and everything she bought was frumpy as hell. How am I supposed to get turned on when she’s wearing crap that looks like hand me downs from her grandmother?” 

“I know, right?” Kise chimes in. “I keep telling Tetsuya that he needs to wear something more attractive than XXL size tee-shirts, but he never listens to what I think.”

“Nobody listens to what you think,” Aomine snorts. “Not that it matters, because even wearing the ugliest outfit ever created wouldn’t put you off from wanting to tap his ass.”

Kise beams, like Aomine has given him a compliment of the highest possible order. Hyuuga, uneasy with the direction their conversation is going in, glances at his watch.

“Half an hour,” he states, downing the last of his drink. “Then we need to go and pick them up.”

“Why,” Aomine despairs, following Hyuuga’s lead and finishing off his beer, “did all three of them have to get pregnant at the same time? More importantly, why does Satsuki find cake buffets more satisfying than my cock?”

“Never get between a woman and her sweets,” Hyuuga advises, obviously speaking from experience. “And never,” he adds, shuddering at the recent memory of being forced into a Boston crab hold by his expectant wife, “tell her that they’re going to make her fat.”

~~

“I know this is all you can eat,” Satsuki says, unable to decide whether she’s disturbed or envious of her dining companion’s ability to pack away so much confectionery, “but you’ll gain weight if you carry on at that pace.”

“I need the nutrients,” Riko insists, already halfway through her fourth plateful. “And so do you, Tetsuya-kun,” she chides, frowning in disapproval at his barely touched portion. “Seriously, you should eat more. Hasn’t Kagami-kun given you this lecture at least twice?”

“I’m sorry,” Tetsuya replies. “I tend to get full easily. Also, I’m not terribly fond of cake.”

Riko and Satsuki stare at him like he’s insane. 

“But cake, Tetsu-kun,” Satsuki declares, “is even better than sex!”

“As is chocolate,” Riko adds.

“And ice cream.”

“And nattou.”

It’s Tetsuya’s turn to give Riko an odd look, but she doesn’t seem to notice or care. She’s not even bothered by the attention their table has been receiving from the other customers, but then again, he supposes, it’s not a very common sight to see three heavily pregnant people together, especially when they have to keep taking it in turns to go to the toilet every ten minutes.

“I’ll be glad when this kid is born,” Satsuki confesses, rubbing her stomach. “I miss being able to fit in my old clothes.”

“I miss being able to drink alcohol,” Riko laments.

I miss being able to function without constantly wanting sex, Tetsuya feels like saying, but he doesn’t, because that would be embarrassing, if only because he’s learnt that women can be even filthier than men when it comes to discussing their love lives, and anyway, he’s not Ryouta. 

“Who do you think will be the first to give birth?” Satsuki asks, ever competitive in the presence of Riko (Tetsuya remembers the two of them fighting over who had the largest baby bump all too well, along with their identical expressions of resignation and defeat upon accepting the true victor of that particular contest, although he still doesn’t consider having the biggest belly something to be proud of). 

Riko shrugs. “My due date is the tenth, but you know what babies are like. There’s no way of telling whether they’ll be early or late.”

“Mine’s the thirteenth. Midorin says it’s unlucky and that I should deliver my daughter the day before instead, as though I can just pop her out at will.” Satsuki rolls her eyes. “What about you, Tetsu-kun?”

“The hospital has already scheduled an appointment for surgery on the seventh,” Tetsuya replies.

Satsuki and Riko both regard him with sympathy.

“Poor Tetsu-kun,” Satsuki says mournfully. “It’s great that you won’t have to go through the agony of labour, but that operation will be risky, for you and the baby.”

“It’ll give you an awful scar afterwards,” Riko commiserates. 

Placing a palm to his stomach with a small smile, Tetsuya merely says, “As long as he arrives safe and healthy, none of that will matter.”

“And when he grows up, he’ll be marrying my little girl,” Satsuki sighs happily. “It’ll be the cutest wedding ever.”

“Don’t decide everything on your own!” says Riko.

“Well,” Satsuki says, her voice dripping with sweetness, although her eyes are glinting with affront, “he definitely won’t be marrying your daughter, Riko-san.”

Predictably, Riko bristles at the insult, and Tetsuya takes that as his cue to excuse himself for his fifth bathroom visit of the afternoon.


End file.
